XXXII: Wild Pigs

Pigs

XXXII Wild Pigs

Servitors: Geloma, Nudeton, Manties, Mara, Liriol, Losimon, Lomiol, Irminon, Sarasim, Iuar, Adon, Girmil, Asturel, Alagas, Gorilon, Laralos, Gesegas, Milon, Erimites, Nasi, Tolet, Morilon, Ugesor, Ramoras, Igarag, Romages, Aril, Lagasas, Isagas, Romoron, Soterion, Negen, Nolom, Nagar, Amillis.

The word in the first row and column, CADASIN and CADESIR, possibly derive from the Hebrew root קדש (qadesh) – ‘holy,’ with the extension קדושין (kidushin) meaning ‘sanctification,’ ‘betrothal’ or ‘marriage,’ while the addition of שיר (sir) in the first column perhaps represents the addition of the word for ‘a chant’ or ‘a song.’ The words in the seventh row and column, RISEDAR and NISEDAR may come from the Hebrew שדר (sedar), ‘message.’ The spirit name in the central Square is an anagrammed representation of that of Geloma, which takes its meaning from the Hebrew גלם (gelom), meaning ‘to embody’ or ‘personify.’ While there is little to directly connect these words to the Wild Pigs this Square brings visions of, the appearance of the word DIMONAS in the third column and row makes it apparent that this is a square relating to demonic power, and what is therefore figured to be ‘holy’ to such beings is that which is unclean, taboo or forbidden which, in the Hebrew tradition, the pig was perhaps the ultimate ‘embodiment’ of.

In the original text of the LBW, the words in the sixth row and column were shortened to IAGUA and ITAGUA respectively and have therefore been amended to ITAGUTA to make an even square. Read backwards, the word IAGUA, becomes AUGAI, which may refer to the Greek nymph Αυγή (Auge, also written Augai), whose name means ‘dawn’ and also the word Αυγό (augo), meaning ‘egg.’ The concept of ‘dawn’ and ‘eggs’ are connected in the concept of the Augoeides which is made up of a combination of either αυγό or αυγή and the term είδηση (eidese), meaning ‘word,’ ‘message’ or ‘intelligence.’ This concept is related to the myth of Phanes, the light bringer, bursting forth from the Cosmic Egg after the coils of the great serpent crack it open and release his light into the nascent cosmos.

The Vision

A rainbow appeared which I followed the downwards arc of from the sky to a patch of yellow grass at its base. On arriving at the grass patch I smoothed it and patted it down with my hands and revealed the end of a pipe with a circular, metal-barred vent over it through which great waves of air protruded, which I perceived came from a great engine under the Earth. I discovered, however, that it came from the sea cutting away into great caves beneath the Earth as it crashed into them which produced billows of air that spouted up through the land. I pulled the vent free from the end of the pipe and squeezed myself headfirst into the narrow, tube-like shaft. The pipe sucked me through it very quickly so that I soon shot free from its other end, which protruded from the cliff face, and flew—like a ball shot from a cannon—far from the cliffs and into the water.

Bobbing in the ocean, I beheld blue waters and skies and yachts with sails of brilliant white in the distance. One of these headed towards me and I saw that it was being steered by a being that was half pig and half human and wearing a blue sailor’s outfit. As he reached me, I climbed aboard and saw his face to have a dirty, unclean look about it, yet its voice was cultured and intelligent as it hauled me aboard. Once I was inside I noticed that dead, naked human bodies littered the deck giving off a smell that was like that of a butcher’s shop. ‘Don’t worry, you’re quite, quite safe,’ the sailor-pig commented, though I felt a silent unease coming over me. During the voyage I could feel myself transforming into a pig-human hybrid, but when I checked down at my immaterial body I could see no changes in it. Then I noticed that the human bodies on the ship had various porcine elements to them, as though they had boarded the ship and transformed into such things in the same way that I perceived myself to be changing my form.

We sailed for a short time then came to an island where other yachts were coming ashore. With me following close behind, the sailor-pig announced to his fellows that he had ‘caught another one trying to cross the sea.’ He continued that I hadn’t got very far at all and the others mocked me for only getting such a short distance into the waters before getting caught. Coming inland I saw that while the island was rather idyllic, the desiccated skins of several human beings hung out to dry on a horizontal cord about twenty feet off the ground. Their bodies were long, faceless and brown in colour as though they had been left out in the sun to be dried or cured.

On turning to the pig who had captured me, he told me not to be concerned as this fate could not come to me as I had no corporeal body and could not be harmed by them. ‘See, look down at yourself,’ it said to reassure me. On doing this, I saw that my body was my own, robed as it was in the chamber in which I performed the experiment, yet it was also partially ethereal in its substance. Despite me having no solid body, the pig then asked me if he and his fellows could feast on my essence in some way, requesting that I give them something from my astral body for them to feed off. I refused and noticed them gathering closely, with threatening vampiric features. With my eyes closed, back in the real world, I perceived movement around me in the chamber during this part, as though shadows darker than the blackness generated by my eyelids were passing from behind me to in front of me in a circular motion. Here, my body felt very tight and rigid and I felt a strong trance begin to descend over me.

Back in the vision, I seemed to have no way out of this predicament when suddenly the lead pig cried out ‘Daimon, what are you doing here?’ On hearing these words I noted that a great, solar eagle was descending from the skies and swooped down to rescue me. As it flew off, I conversed with it a little, but found my real-world trance state a little too heavy to keep my concentration strong enough to make out his words. I gleaned, however, that the island was set close to the same western sea I had been somehow forbidden to cross—or had seen the souls of the dead crossing—in previous visions. I asked the eagle to lay me down in a wood on the shore of the land that I came from, and he warned me that the demonic creatures I had encountered were likely still abroad in these parts of the lands, but I informed him that this didn’t trouble me, so he set me down. The vision began to take on a looser form at this stage with various random flashes of faces and images that didn’t seem related to anything relevant, so I drew the session to a close.

Notes

The image of unclean animals on boats harks back to the vision of A Big Lake, which began with a similar projection of an object into water over a great distance, in that case being a golf ball being hit into the lake. Of potential relevance to this is the appearance of the word ATILATI in the second column and row, which has a possible origin in the Hebrew טלטלה (tilatileh), meaning ‘to hurl,’ ‘project’ or ‘shake.’  Both visions also featured a small island in their respective bodies of water that contained some kind of threat and the feeling of being encircled or watched.

A spirit revealed in this Square for the first time in the course of this experiment was Nudeton, whose name may derive from the Hebrew root נוד (nud), used to denote the wandering of an outcast or fugitive or the shaking of the head in grief.

The concepts of pigs, demons, being projected into the sea and the ‘outcast’ nature of the spirit Nudeton reveal references to Christs outcasting of Legion into a herd of swine that leap off a cliff and into the sea in Mark 5:1-20.

The manifestation of the Eagle as a Solar Daimon may bear some relation to the inclusion of the words IAGUA and AUGAI mentioned above, which may have acted as a prompt for the manifestation of a being of the same nature as the Augoeides, whose purpose was to guide and protect me from the threat of the demonic entities on the island in the midst of the great sea of death.

The Square was created with the Moon at 2º Cancer and the scrying performed with the Moon at 12º Cancer.

XXVIII: Peacocks

Golden Idol

XXVIII MIDIKON

Servitors: Ilekel, Manties, Losimon, Asmiel, Lomiol, Katsin, Apolion, Pakid, Adon, Pattid, Kosem, Milon, Iparkas, Izozon, Nasi, Tolet, Ekalak, Kilik, Kokolon, Alpas, Ipakol, Soterion, Nolom, Amillis.

The word at the outer edge of the square derives from the Greek μυδεικών (mydeikon), meaning ‘mystical,’ while the name forming the central cross refers to the spirit Ilekel, whose name possibly derives from the Hebrew לחלל (lechalel) meaning ‘to desecrate,’ ‘violate’ or ‘defile.’ The lower case letters represent those altered by me to correct the errors that are evident in it in the original text.

The Vision

A long, thick baton made of plant matter and covered with needle-sharp spines appeared. Each of the baton’s spines had a tiny, lidless eye at its end, each of which turned to look at me at the same time, then started shifting around in a way that was quite unsettling to look upon. As I looked at the baton, a peacock came running towards me telling me I shouldn’t be holding it and instructed me to put it down. Entranced, I kept looking at it, and found it opening out into a blue fan that, with its eyes now spread all over its surface, resembled the tail of a peacock. As I noticed this, the peacock standing before me opened his tail in response then proceeded to run past me, telling me to put the fan down and run with him as something was coming. I folded it back up so it resembled the spiked baton again and ran with him.

Then it was apparent that we were in a thinly-wooded forest. Between, or rather above, the trees came a huge giant, crushing everything it trod on beneath its feet. Then, as the giant came to the baton I left on the floor, the eye-spines that ran up its length pierced the flesh of its feet and turned the giant to stone. Then, after a few moments, the stone giant crumbled to dust and revealed a golden statue of a man, somewhat like Michelangelo’s David, but carrying an axe over its shoulder. The Peacock and I approached the statue and the Peacock joyfully declared the freedom of the idol that had been encased within the giant’s great body. Then the arm holding the axe dropped down to its side for a moment then moved again to strike the ground with it, causing a small crack to appear in the earth. As the earth opened, I saw a pool of very blue water in which hundreds of frogs eggs had been laid. This, I realised, was the point where the spiked baton had been crushed into the ground by the giant’s foot, and had now changed from being a baton/tail/fan into a blue pool full of eggs. On inspection, each of the eggs contained tiny, swimming embryos.

Then, from the water, a large, shark-like monster leaped, its maw raised to the heavens, which peeled back lay by layer to reveal a bald-headed figure garbed in a robe of the same blue as the pool and tail feather had been. Its eyes, however, had skin growing over them which opened by the skin being split open into vertical slits with no visible eyeballs within them. As it gazed upon me, it said ‘speak what you wish, or rather, chant it.’ Doing so, I demanded, in a chant, to be shown the true visions of the square. It told me I was already seeing them, but then explained that none of what I was seeing was real, for nothing around us was actually there. The wood around me and everything in it was an illusion fabricated from the matter of my mind, it said, and this illusion could come in the form of castles, buildings, towns, banquets or anything else one could imagine.

The entity then told me that the mechanics by which spirits worked was through influencing the physical matter of the mind to produce symbolic communications. But, he asked me, how could I truly distinguish what was the work of my own mind and what was the work of the spirits communicating with me. As he spoke, I noticed that his feet became those of an ostrich that dug into the ground and that he appeared to be wearing a pink tutu around his waist. On noting my incredulity about such a ridiculous image, it laughed a bellowing laugh. It explained that they could encourage the mind to see anything they wished it to by the power of suggestion, it said and produced random images of foods like pineapples and carrots appeared for no discernible reason. The point of doing this, it told me, was that I had the mind couldn’t control the formation of these images once they had been suggested to it. This being the case, how could one truly determine whether the images impressed by the mind was the product of one’s own communications with the unconscious or some other extraneous entity. It prompted me then to form whatever images I wished in my own mind. On doing this, I noticed that everything I thought of came easily enough but that the things I was deciding to form images of now also seemed to be influenced by something that may or not be of my own mind.

The entity reiterated again that this was how spirits worked. They could manipulate any matter that they wished to by such power, and did so by working at the subatomic level, as they could range in their sizes from that of a particle, to a microbe or to a great giant. In such forms they could alter the forms and movements of anything physical in unseen, invisible ways, being able to effect the actions of viruses and bacteria, the movements of animals, storms, seas and buildings. Even, it seems, the synapses of the brain that produce various thoughts, images, predilections or emotional responses could be manipulated by them. The veils between the unconscious influence of the mind and the activities of spirits, it seems by such explanations, is thin and indistinguishable. To test this, I asked whether I could be made to see things I had never physically seen if this was the case, and the answer was affirmative. I asked it, for some reason, for it to show me a vision of Byzantium, and it proceeded to show me an image of a city with small white houses and red-brown sloping rooves surrounded by larger buildings with great golden domes. I stated to it that this place could be anywhere, and there was no proof that this illusion was Byzantium at all. That, it said, was my dilemma. How could I ever know if any of the things shown to me were ‘real’ in an objective sense if I couldn’t prove it either way. Ultimately, there is no way to tell if one is being deceived or not by the actions of mind, be it due to the actions of one’s own brain or by spirits who, in this vision, claimed that they worked by manipulating it.

Leaving me to consider such things, I sensed its impending departure and asked it to give me its name before it left. In response, the image of a highly intricate red and yellow banner appeared before me with various heraldic images such as lions and dragons stitched into it. In this centre, around a crest of some kind, two flowing ribbons had two letters stitched into them in red, AF on the left side and AS on the right, spelling out the name AFAS. With this, the vision ended.

Notes

The Square in question appears to have been corrupted in the original text and so was amended by myself to make its proportions even. The original, uncorrected Square appears as follows.

XXVIII CORRECTED

New Spirits apparent in this square are: Izozon, Katsin, Manties, Pakid, Pattid. Possible origins for these names are:

Izozon – יזוז (izoz), ‘move,’ ‘stir,’ ‘go away.’
Katsin – חצי (chatzi), ‘middle’ or ‘half,’ though the most interesting possibility is ‘moiety,’ which refers to something a single thing being split into two halves.
Manties – possibly from the term -mancy, related to divination, which ultimately comes from the Greek μαντεία (manteia).
Pakid – from Hebrew פחד (pechad), ‘fear,’ ‘dread,’ ‘terror.’
Pattid – possibly from Hebrew יפעת (ipat), ‘splendour,’ ‘brilliance.’

The bottom line of the square reveals a backward expression of the word MIDIKON to give the word NOKIDIM – נגידים – ‘Governors,’ which is suggestive of the influence of the Four Kings, Oriens, Amaymon, Paymon and Ariton, but may refer to any entity in a position of authority over others. NOKIDIM also represents the principle of averse mysticism due to the word it derives from mydeikon, meaning ‘mystical,’ and the aura of averse mysticism evident in the square, with its explanations on how spirits interfere with the laws of cause and effect in invisible ways in the physical world, appeared to confirm this. about it.

The nature of the communications in it had a degree of what a psychiatrist would probably call examples of schizotypal or psychotic thinking, due to the postulated statement that external entities may have an effect on thoughts. Such explanations are not entirely inaccurate, as when uncontrolled through the veils of mental illness and a lack of mystical or magical intent this can certainly be the case. However, most human experiences that can be called religious or spiritual, including visions, shamanic experiences, kundalini or other ecstatic states can quite easily be attributed to forms of temporary psychosis. The key here is the ability to acknowledge that mystical experiences are wilful experiments with the fabric of one’s psychic substance that can be used to tap into alternative states of consciousness by communicating with one’s deep and unconscious self. As the entity, Afas, in the vision stated however, there is a quandary involved in this in that one can no longer truly tell what is the product of one’s unconscious, which has been given free reign to act as it wills for a short time, and what is the product of the encouragement or manipulation of forces that exist beyond it.

The true key to understanding whether what we experience in such states is down to us or something extraneous to us lies in receiving proofs that point to something beyond the self. In these experiments this has happened rather consistently with the reception of words that I have had no prior knowledge off in ancient languages that I only have passing familiarity with. In this vision, this happened too, as the name given, Afas, appears to correlate with the Hebrew word אפש (afas), which means ‘wish’ or ‘desire,’ which is objectively relevant due to the entity informing me I could ‘speak what I wished for’ when it first appeared. It’s nature, then, was the granting of wishes or desires in the way that is mythically expressed in the persons of the djinn that emerge from magical lamps in Arabian lore. Another alternative explanation for this sort of phenomena is that the self has the ability to tap into an objective pool of information that lies beyond it, such as that represented by the Collective Unconscious postulated by the eminent sage Carl Jung. This possibility, however, is no less magical in its postulations than the idea of spirits or daemons having an element of influence over us, but I personally believe that the human mind cannot access information beyond its own experiences, but can be prompted and communicated with by preternatural entities that are extraneous to it.

The Square was created with the Moon at 12º Sagittarius and performed with the Moon at 25º Sagittarius.

XIII: Farm Buildings

musee-gustave-moreau

XIII Farm Buildings

Servitors: Ugesor, Peresh, Asorega, Saraph, Ragaras, Parusur, Alluph, Nogah, Alagas, Ogologon, Adon, Laralos, Gesegas, Aherom, Helel, Ramoras, Holop, Romages, Geloma, Lagasas, Alpas, Romoron, Negen, Nolom, Nagar.

The word at the outer edges of the square, MELUNAH, comes from the Hebrew מלונה (melunah), meaning ‘doghouse’ or ‘kennel.’ The word in the central cross derives from the name of the spirit Ugesor, which may come from the Hebrew גשר (gesor), meaning ‘bridge.’

The Vision

A field being furrowed by an old-fashioned plough appeared. Alongside it was an old Land Rover with an ‘R’ suffix in its licence plate. When they reached the edge of the field they headed into a large barn, the door of which closed behind them and were locked shut with a padlock and chain. Moving away from the barn, I moved towards a central courtyard of a farm that I recognised as one I spent much time on with my Aunt and Uncle as a child, though the buildings that surrounded it were not the same.

The first building was the locked barn I had left behind me. The second, to my left, was a chicken coop. Going clockwise from there, the third building consisted of a barred door which a German Shepherd stood behind. It had the appearance of a guard dog, but cried in excitement when it saw me, as though I were known to it. The fourth place, in front of me, was a house, the door of which was open and revealed a seductive woman hiding in the shadows inside. The fifth was a pen containing many cows and the sixth, to my right, was a church with a great shining cross glowing through its doorway. The seventh and final building, which was positioned behind me and just to the right of the barn, was a long, single-storeyed hall that was thick with shadows inside. This was the building I decided to enter.

Once I was inside, the door slammed shut behind me and I saw a table that almost ran the length of the hall. It was covered with a feast, with the most prominent food being the bunches of grapes that lay either side of a single candle, which was the room’s only source of light. I sat at the table, but before I could decide whether I wished to eat any of the food provided, a rasping female voice filled the darkness.

‘It’s interesting that you come here, to the only place where you didn’t know what lay inside,’ it said. ‘This is why you are suitable for this purpose.’ It proceeded to speak of many things with me, both asking questions and giving guidance, and I felt a sense of snakes crawling all over the floor whenever I spoke back to her.

Then, the bearer of the voice told me to take the candle that lay on the table, as it would be my only guide in the world of darkness ahead. First however, I had to burn my hand with its flame to prove my courage. As a point of synchronicity, there really was a single candle on a table before me in the ‘real’ world in which I sat in a chair performing this work, so, in both the astral and material planes, I picked up a candle with my left hand and slowly passed my right hand through it three times making the hair on the side of my hand burn. The smell created by that burning, the spirit told me, made an effective fumigation that would be suitable as an offering to spirits of an infernal nature, as would the smell of burning flesh. One of the questions it asked was why I didn’t descend into the spiral staircase ‘they’ had shown me in the vision of the Wild Animals. I answered that I had to wade through enough shit in my mundane life every day so didn’t wish to further taint myself needlessly. She told me that the filth of the material world was nothing to be concerned about as it could be washed away with ease and did not affect you once it was gone. The filth of the spiritual kind, however, was indelible and made one grow darker and more stained with every contact with it and nothing in existence could remove it.

The voice, though female, was deep and rasping, and I felt a large python winding its way up my right leg as she spoke again. Then she asked me to burn my hand again, and this time until I felt a degree of pain. I did this by placing my hand about six inches above the flame, where I left it for a few moments until I whipped it away.

‘One day,’ the voice spoke, ‘when your tolerance to fire becomes great enough, you will willingly set your whole body aflame to obtain what we offer. You would burn yourself into nothing to attain it, and in doing so you would become one with the infinite and know all the secrets that lie hidden in the great darkness.’

Then, in an instant, I found myself within the church I had seen in the western quarter of the farm’s courtyard. Inside, a black woman with short hair and wearing a silk garb the colour of lapis lazuli was leaning over a wooden rail near the altar and reaching to retrieve something from a bag. After a few seconds, she pulled out an egg and hurled it to the floor. A baby snake wriggled in its ruin, with the splattered albumen being the colour of blood. The black woman then turned to me and said ‘stamp on it!’ I refused and she asked me why with anger and annoyance in her tone. I stated that I believed the serpent was sacred, representing healing and wisdom and was the symbol and means for our path to gnosis. As I said this I noticed that there was a huge white statue behind the altar rail and the sun from a window to the east of the church was shining on its face to form a letter ‘T’ over its brow and nose. The woman, regarding the statue said that as I was in the church of He Who Trod The Snake Underfoot, it was my duty to do him honour and stamp on the snake. Again I refused and saw that the rest of the body’s statue took the form of a great giant with its sandalled foot crushing the head of a large serpent. The woman then fled from the church laughing maniacally and telling me I would regret my disobedience.

After she left, I noticed that the T-shaped shaft of sunlight came from a window of the same form high above. I stood in the centre of a circular chamber at the church’s centre and let the letter fall upon my face. Then, the letters I, S, A and S all beamed through another four windows spaced equidistantly around the dome that encircled the roof, with an equal amount of sunlight shining through each. All of the beams that came from these letters shone at once upon my face, writing the word TISAS on me, each letter merging into a single mass of sunlight. With the light blinding me, another female voice spoke, demanding that I place my candle down in the east before her and burn some item close at hand in its flame as an offering to her. This I did, and she instantly gave me some of her teachings though I can’t reveal more of the what she taught me here. Following her tutorage, a chorus of spirits danced and chanted lines the main female spirit prompted them to repeat in the church’s undercroft before I exited into sunlight to see a brief vision of a Magpie and a Swift before the vision came to an end.

Notes

The volume of information coming from this Square was copious, possibly due to its containing the names of twenty-six different spirits. The most dominant voice was that of a powerful female spirit, which appeared consistent throughout but grew significantly stronger when the five-lettered beam of sunlight shone through the church windows to illuminate my face. The word given in this part, TISAS, appears to form the outer edges of a new word square, with the name SIGIS fitting quite naturally into the central cross. Considering the appearance of dancing, chanting spirits in the church’s crypt after the appearance of these letters, it is possible that TISAS may derive from the Ancient Greek θίασος (thiasos) and the Latin derivation thiasus which denotes a congregation of singers and dancers gathered together in celebration.

TISAS

A mild synchronicity occurred after the vision, which ended with images of a Magpie and a Swift, when I hit the shuffle button on my music player to find the song Black Swift coming on.

At the beginning of the vision, an old Land Rover with an ‘R’ suffix appeared. In the UK, vehicles with this suffix would have been registered new between September 1976 and August 1977, which was the period in which I was born.

The appearance of the word Melunah in the square is interesting because the spirit who appeared as a horse in the previous vision gave its name as Melenhor, which was also the name of an old familiar of mine who I previously recalled demanding a human or animal bone to dwell within while it was in my service. It wasn’t until I began the preparatory work for this square the day after working with the one which caused Paddocks and Fields to be seen that I put this connection together. Melenhor’s name would therefore appear to be a derivation of this word which, meaning ‘kennel’ is relevant to a vision in which hunting dogs were prominent and is also befitting of a vision in which the images of farm buildings are evoked. A solitary dog appeared in the vision, but it seemed to bear no relation to the hunting hounds that appeared in the visual content of the previous square.

The interpretations I made of the meanings of the prominent names and words of the square didn’t seem to express themselves very overtly, with the dog kennel appearing only briefly and no real connection to the word ‘bridge’ appearing at all. Of the new names that appeared in this square, the following meanings may be attributed.

Holop – חלוף (cholup) – ‘transitory,’ ‘ephemeral.’
Alagas – Possible derivation of λαγάς (lagas) – ‘a hare hunter.’ See tags for Lagasas.
Alluph – אלוף (alup) – ‘domestication.’
Nogah/Nagar – נגר (nogar) – ‘fluid,’ ‘liquid,’ ‘flowing.’
Nolom – נעלם (nolom) – ‘unknown,’ ‘hidden,’ ‘disappeared.’
Parasur – Possibly from the Latin paras meaning ‘to provide.’ May also originate from פרס (peras) – ‘reward,’ ‘prize.’
Peresh – פרש (peresh) – ‘horseman,’ ‘knight,’ ‘rider.’ Also possibly of the same origins as the above, Parasur.

VI. A Rose Garden

Venus_botticelli_detail

VI RODONIA

Servitors: Adon, Afolop (Apolop), Alogil, Alpas, Amillis, Apolion, Aril, Asorega, Gesegas, Gorilon, Igarag, Igilon, Isagas, Lagasas, Laralos, Liriol, Nagar, Nagid, Nasi, Negen, Ogologon, Oroia, Ragaras, Sigis.

The word around the outside of the square, RODONIA, has its origins in the Greek ῥόδον ‘rose,’ while the word in the central cross, OGOLOGO, apparent in the name of the spirit Ogologon, may represent a palindromic expression of the Hebrew root לעג (gol) – ‘scorn,’ ‘derision.’

The Vision

It began with a single red rose spinning in a black void. As it spun its petals peeled back until it became a phallus, then a heart. The heart explodes, scattering fire and blood in the darkness and making many other roses grow out of the darkness. They formed a circular boundary made of tangled thorns which then begin to spin, just as the first rose did, emanating sparks of fire as it spun like a Catherine Wheel. From the borders, rivulets of blood ran to a concave in the centre of the circle which, when collected, formed a vortex beneath my feet which I was compelled to descend into. I refused, as it was not my will to do so, and rose high above it. From above, I saw the channels from which the blood flowed, and saw them forming a cross of iron with a channel cut into the centre of each beam. This then doubled its arms to become an eight-sided cross, then sixteen, then thirty-two, then sixty-four. Then it became a circle and began to spin, yet again. Growing tired with the constant lack of control I was feeling over this tumultuous place, I banished the entire vision from my sight and stilled myself. I stated an affirmation in the stillness that I came to see a vision of a rose garden and that’s what I expected to see.

After doing this, I found myself in a bare and barren field and had the notion that roses required manure to grow and I would have to provide it out of my own being in order to make the land fertile. After fertilising the earth in my own way, a new rose garden started to form, but it was like a thick labyrinth of tightly bound rose bushes with vicious thorns. At this point, I told myself, ‘I am in control of this. This is happening in my own mind and I can put myself anywhere I want to,’ then transported myself far away, only to find that the exact same scene established itself around me again. The temptation, again, was to go downwards, beneath the earth, but I resisted and rose up into the sky again to look down upon what looked like a great, unending maze of rose bushes below me.

With nowhere else to go, I erased the scene again and floated in darkness. In that place, the name of the spirit Gesegas came to me, followed by an announcement that a Nigerian lady wanted to speak with me. I consented to speak with her and her voice came through in a soft, pleasant voice.

‘Don’t resist when I stroke you, sweetie,’ she said. ‘It won’t hurt much and won’t last long at all, I promise.’ I replied that she was not to touch me and had no consent to do so. I formed the intent to banish her, but was instantly met with the sense that doing so would not be possible as she was far superior to me. This was a point of some disturbance for me as, like I mentioned in the vision of A Pumpkin, I have had quite a few experiences on the edge of sleep or during Astral Meditation when entities or thoughtforms appear to want to ‘ride’ me in the manner of the lwa of Vodou. Often, they are female and of African appearance and speech. Resisting this as a threat—for I was not seeking to be ridden—I recalled the starry diadem I had received in the vision of A Beautiful Palace and made it appear on my brow, sending three beams of light into the surrounding darkness. I aimed the light at the place in the darkness where I felt the woman to be and illuminated her, making her yelp in pain. Sensing my advantage, I commanded her to depart in the name of the Four Kings. A sense then came to me that she could be commanded to go into the world and perform works according to my will. I gave her an instruction as a firm command and told her that when the work was done, she would be free of any obsession of me and, being liberated from it, would not return to me again.

Pushing my will forward again, I reaffirmed my intention and formed a new scene, making a pleasant lawn of grass appear with roses all around it. At the end of it stood a marble statue of Aphrodite. I was compelled to give a rose as an offering to her, but being unable to take one of the roses that surrounded me due to the thickness of their thorns, I produced one from my own being and laid it at her feet. The white stone of the statue took a flesh-like hue at this and she became animated with life, though she remained curiously statue-like. As I looked upon her, I saw that she wore a golden sash that looked like a wreath from her right shoulder to her left hip that appeared to drip with a golden dew. I looked at her face and saw that she looked a little like Raphael’s Venus. Then she spoke.

‘What do you want from us?’ she said. ‘Why do you keep coming to us?’ I answered that I came to learn from them and to witness them for what they were in order to elevate myself. The response came not from her but from a night-black figure, male with a heavy neck, shaved head and a face that appeared to have white symbols painted upon it. He spoken into my right ear, in a deep, harsh voice, that I couldn’t have spiritual and worldly growth at the same time. Then another male, identical to the first, leaned into my left ear and said: ‘He is material growth, I am spiritual. We are twins, but we cannot speak at the same time.’ With that, I saw the female statue, whose body was now entirely golden stood between the two, her hands clutching the backs of their heads, as though she controlled them as her slaves. At her bidding, the two men turned into black and brown dogs akin to Dobermann Pinschers and curled up at my feet.

‘Would you lie with the dogs?’ she said. I replied that I would, and sunk, supine to the grass. As I did so, one of them marked his territory on my leg.

After a short rest, a hole in the ground appeared again, and no longer resisting an underworld descent of some kind, I walked into the hole, which took shape as a spiral staircase of an old castle that led down to a dungeon. Lighting my way with the starry diadem of the Morning Star once again, I lit the bleak corridors and saw abandoned hanging torture cages lining the corridor, though this part of the castle had not been used for many years. After passing some large but docile spiders, I came to a grotto with large but scattered agaric mushrooms lining parts of the walls. Above, a shaft of sunlight burned through a fissure in the roof, illuminating a round patch of grass with a few red roses adorning it. As I stood on the grass patch, it began to ascend to the gap in the roof above like a great elevator, and I realised that this grotto was the underside of the great lawn I had seen in the vision of A Beautiful Lawn. As I rose into the sunlight, I noticed that it had a rainbow hue to it, and that I was now approaching the same scene I had witnessed in that vision but from an entirely different perspective. As the patch of grass I stood upon slotted back into place in the world above, I saw that this was indeed the same Lawn as that previous vision and that I had journeyed back in time to witness the same scene from the viewpoint of one rising from the world below back into the light of day.

In the final moments of the vision, I saw the face of the Nigerian woman again, but as a memory this time rather than as a present form. Her name, I recalled, was akin to Falino or Paleno. This name is a possible reflection of the Italian Palino, which derives from the Latin Palare, and its origin Palor, meaning ‘I wander up and down or about,’ ‘straggle,’ ‘stray’ or ‘I am dispersed,’ which fits in with some of the aimless wandering I found myself doing here as well as the dispersal she herself became subject to. This name may also be related to that of the spirit Apolion, who appears in the square and whose name means ‘destroyer.’ Women of African origin also appeared in A Hunting Party, though they were more benevolent and curious than this manifestation, who was malign in nature but pretending not to be.

The name of the spirit Gesegas, which came forth as a disembodied name in the darkness, possibly derives from געש (ga’ash) – ‘eruption,’ ‘quaking,’ ‘storm.’

The theme of holes appearing in the ground occurred in A Beautiful Lawn and A Hunting Party, marking a continuation of the themes of previous visions that only became apparent in the vision of A Beautiful Palace, in which I received the protective, light-emanating diadem of starlight that was of use to me here.

Of the twenty-three Servitors appearing in this square, all have already appeared in the other visions, with the exception of  Adon and Nagid, with Adon’s name being derived from אדון meaning ‘lord,’ ‘master,’ ‘ruler’ and Nagid coming from נגיד, similarly meaning ‘lord,’ governor,’ ‘leader,’ ‘ruler.’ These may be names used to invoke the appearance of the Elemental Kings, as the image of Aphrodite that appeared was similar, but not identical, to my visualisation of Oriens. Whatever her identity, this spirit certainly had an aura of command about her, which was evident in the way she required a sacrifice—as gods do, and indeed as Oriens does in the Book of Offices—by the way that she controlled the two servants who spoke on her behalf, by the way she held their hands fast in her hands and finally by the way that she turned them into dogs. It is also known that when Oriens appears, she comes in the presence of other great kings, including the spirit Baall and her messenger Femell.

An alternative etymology of the name of the servitor Aril (as Haril) given by Mathers is ‘thorny,’ which is more than accounted for by the thorny obstacles that barred physical progress at various stages of this vision.

The name of the spirit Laralos may be from that of Lara, the Greek nymph who had her tongue cut out for not being able to keep secrets, who was seduced by Hermes as he took her to Averna on the threshold of the underworld, which saw her giving birth to the Lares, or household spirits, as a result. Avernus was a volcanic crater in Cumae, the entrance of the underworld in Magnae Grecia, and fits thematically with bowl into which blood ran at the start of this vision as well as the constant pull to places beneath the Earth.

Other points of note about the square are the prevalence of the letter ‘O’ which may signify the double-repetition of the Hebrew word AIN meaning ‘Nothing’ in the upper right and low left-hand corners of the square. Also apparent in its corners are repetitions of the word ORO, which is similar to the Greek ούρο, ‘urine,’ which was represented in the vision by the dog relieving itself on my leg. Oύρο also forms a connection with the concept of the self-devouring serpent Ourobouros, which gets its name from its eating of its own tail and feeding on its own recycled effluence in order to survive. Symbolically, this occurred in this vision with the amount of repetitive scenes and cycles in its early stages, with its ultimate return to the first vision of the Beautiful Lawn, and with the requirement for me to defecate on barren ground in order to encourage roses to grow from it. The Venusian qualities apparent form a connection to the light of the Morning Star in the vision of  A Beautiful Palace and the Venusian symbolism inherent in the Rose.